Irritation is a daily reality. It creeps in unexpectedly—a careless word from a friend, a frustrating delay in traffic, a demanding task at work, or even just the general weariness of life. And too often, when I feel irritation rising, I don’t immediately turn to the Lord. Instead, I try to push through it in my own strength.
I tell myself, Just get over it. Move on. Keep going. But rather than improving my situation, I find myself more frustrated, more drained, and ultimately more disconnected from God.
Why is that?
The Root of My Irritation
At its core, irritation is often a sign of misplaced expectations or a heart that has not rested in Christ. I expect my day to go smoothly. I expect others to be considerate. I expect my plans to unfold the way I envisioned. When these expectations are disrupted, my flesh reacts with irritation.
James 4:1-2 reminds us:
“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”
Irritation, at its root, is often about my own desires. I want control. I want ease. I want things to go my way. But when they don’t, I become frustrated. And when I rely on my own strength to deal with that frustration, I only add to the weight of my burdens.
The Call to Turn to the Lord
The gospel speaks directly to this struggle. Jesus invites me to bring my burdens to Him:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
Instead of trying to “manage” my irritation on my own, I need to bring it to Christ. This means pausing to pray when I feel frustration rising. It means confessing my irritations to the Lord, asking Him to search my heart, and reminding myself of the greater peace I have in Him.
Philippians 4:6-7 calls me to this very thing:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
The Lord offers a better way. He calls me to trade my irritation for His peace, my self-reliance for His strength.
Practical Steps for Fighting Irritation with Faith
- Pause and Pray – Instead of letting irritation fester, I can stop and ask God for help, even if it’s just a short, silent prayer.
- Examine My Heart – Am I irritated because of unmet expectations? Pride? A lack of patience? Identifying the root can help me surrender it to God.
- Meditate on Scripture – Keeping verses like Philippians 4:6-7 or Colossians 3:12-13 in my heart helps reorient my perspective.
- Give Thanks – Thankfulness shifts my focus from frustration to God’s goodness, even in the midst of difficulties.
- Rely on the Holy Spirit – I need to remind myself that sanctification is God’s work, not my own. I can’t overcome irritation by willpower, but by yielding to Him.
A Closing Prayer
I keep a scan/picture of a prayer from Every Moment Holy, Volume I, on my phone. This is helpful because when I am feeling extremely irritated, I often don’t have the words to pray other than, “Lord, please help me.”
Here is that prayer. I hope you find it useful. If you do, consider purchasing the book. There are many liturgies and prayers that can enrich your spiritual walk with Christ.
A Liturgy for a Fleeting Irritation
I bring to you Lord my momentary irritation that you might reveal the buried seed of it—not in the words or actions of another person, but in the withered and hypocritical expectations of my own small heart. Uproot from this impoverished soil all arrogance and insecurity that would prompt me to dismiss or disdain others, judging them with a less generous measure than I reckon when judging myself. Prune away the tangled growth of my own unjustified irritations, Jesus, and graft to my heart instead your humility,
your compassion,
your patience,
your kindness,
that I might bear good fruit in keeping with your grace.Amen.
McKelvey, Every Moment Holy, Volume I., p252